Intention Fatigue

Those of you who work in healthcare have probably heard the phrase “alert fatigue.”  This is a malady associated with electronic medical records in which providers entering orders on a patient’s profile receive so many pop-up alerts about things that are unimportant (e.g. “Warning: This patient has two laxatives on his profile!  This is duplicate therapy!”)  that the alerts that are important (e.g. “Warning: The combination of these two drugs can cause an irregular heart rhythm and kill your patient!”) get ignored.  It’s like the boy who cried wolf.

I sometimes find myself with Intention Fatigue – that is, I feel obligated to pray for everybody who asks for prayers on their blog, not to mention the Holy Father and his intentions, tragedies such as the Boston bombings, societal evils such as abortion and the death penalty… you get the idea.  Often I worry that I’ve left out someone or something important.

Has this happened to anyone else?  What have you done about it?

Prayer of the Month: Morning Offering

O Jesus,
through the Immaculate Heart of Mary,
I offer You my prayers, works,joys and sufferings of this day
for all the intentions of Your Sacred Heart,
in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world,
in reparation for my sins,
for the intentions of all my relatives and friends,
and in particular for the intentions of the Holy Father.
Amen.

1-2. O Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary.  You might think it odd to ask Jesus something via Mary.  And while that’s certainly not the only way to get His attention, it certainly works.  Who better to ask than the person who knew Him best?  Perhaps asking for the help of the Immaculate Heart of Mary can make our hearts a little closer to immaculate.

3. I offer You my prayers, works, joys and sufferings of this day.  When I say this prayer, I’m offering God everything, from holding the door for the little old lady to cursing under my breath at the coworker who drives me crazy.  Reminding myself of this helps me give Him things that are worth offering.

4. for all the intentions of Your Sacred Heart.  Does Jesus have intentions?  Jesus is fully human as well as fully divine.  Thus, he understands what it’s like to pray for something, to feel that only God can help you (read about the Agony in the Garden if you don’t believe me).

5. in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world.  Want to hear a fun fact about Catholicism?  The Mass is always being celebrated somewhere in the world!  And no matter who you are, even if you don’t speak the language, you’re welcome there.  That’s always been impressive to me; we really are a universal church.  So when I unite my prayers with the Mass, I’m uniting my prayers not just with my own church community, but Masses all over the world.  WOW!

6. in reparation for my sins.  This was a line I struggled to remember when I was first learning this prayer. My what now?  Sins?  Oh yeah, I guess I have those.  What are they, you ask?  Uh… hey, look, a bird!  But our sins are things we must remember and always try to atone for.  When I’m talking to God, I can’t just hand him a list of requests as if I’m the bride and he’s the DJ at my wedding reception.  I need to address all my faults and failures and attempt to do better.

7.  for the intentions of all my relatives and friends.  I love this line.  I always have a long list of things that people I know both in real life and via the internet have asked me to pray for, and while I list them all individually when I’m praying at Mass, it’s nice to have a catch-all for days when I don’t have a lot of time to pray.

8. and in particular for the intentions of the Holy Father.  The guy who’s in charge of the entire church has some serious responsibility, and I don’t envy him one bit.  If there’s anything he thinks important enough to take to the Almighty, it’s important enough for me to remember in prayer too.

Prayer of the Month: Memorare

Remember, O Most Gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone who fled to Thy protection,
implored Thy help or sought Thine intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence,
I fly unto Thee, O Virgin of Virgins, my Mother;
to Thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions,
but in Thy mercy, hear and answer me.

Remember, O Most Gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to Thy protection, implored Thy help or sought Thine intercession, was left unaided.  Never was it known.  That’s a mighty strong word, but it’s a true word.   The Blessed Mother has never, can never, will never let anybody down.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto Thee, O Virgin of Virgins, my Mother.  She won’t let you down because she’s not just Jesus’ mother, she’s our mother too.  And unlike our actual mothers, she is without sin, unable to turn away her children.

to Thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful.  Sinful and sorrowful.  I feel that way when I stand next to Mary.   It’s not even that I can’t measure up to her – nobody can.  But like any mother, she expects us to do our best (that’s our best, not hers) and whenever I say this prayer, I think of the ways I have failed to be my best and know that the Blessed Mother is disappointed.

O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in Thy mercy, hear and answer me.  Despite all our failings, we come to Mary with our troubles.  And as the mother of us all, she will give us what we need.

First Steps

Often, when a person has a large goal in mind – losing 100 pounds, training for a marathon, finishing graduate school – it helps to break the goal down into smaller steps and celebrate the completion of each small step.  Failing to celebrate the steps in the journey can make the ultimate goal seem too far away and many people will get discouraged and give up.

I had a similar thought about DH’s conversion.  While I’ll keep the big picture (baptism at the Easter Vigil) in mind, it became clear that I needed to break the goal down into smaller pieces.  So I decided I’d start praying for him to take the first step.  And then, since I’m kind of neurotic, I started to worry: What is the first step?  Should I pray that he go to Mass with me at Christmas? Should I pray that he read one of my theology books?  Should I pray that he start reading Conversion Diary?

And then yesterday morning, it hit me.^*  DH’s first step would not be the same as my first step.  (I’m surprised the Holy Spirit didn’t add “duh” after that thought.)  There are as many reasons to convert as there are converts, and there are as many paths to conversion as there are converts.  I have no clue what DH’s first step might be, but I’ll know it when I see it.

And so, I pray for a first step.

^{*I was at work and having a somewhat hectic day, and there was this awesome insight from the Holy Spirit. God really does work in mysterious ways!}

Requiem

Earlier this month, I asked my readers to pray for the repose of the soul of HW, a family friend.  I’d like to tell you a little more about HW.

HW and his wife lived across the street from my family and I when I was little.  They were a few years older than my folks and didn’t have any children and thus doted on me and my sister.  After our family moved away, they came to visit us a few times a year at our new home.  They always brought a ton of gifts – not expensive stuff, mostly paper and markers and other stuff kids might think is cool.  Their visits were one of the few times a year we were allowed to have soda (my mom is a real health nut).

When I was in my mid-teens, they inexplicably stopped speaking to us.  No more visits, no more calls, no more cards.  I’ve mentioned before that my sister has special needs; communication was cut off just before my sister got sick.   So, while my folks missed the W’s, they had a few other things on their minds and didn’t try to rekindle the relationship.  And me?  Well, I was just a surly teenager.

Years passed.  I graduated high school.  I went to college and met DH.  My sister graduated high school (a minor miracle).  I finished college and got a job.  I married DH.  I went to graduate school.  My sister moved into a group home and slowly, ploddingly, improved. I finished graduate school and got a better job.

And last summer, HW and his wife called my parents.  It seems that HW had been ill for some time and had been in and out of the hospital.  They didn’t offer an explanation for why they did what they did, and we didn’t ask.  We were just glad to hear from them again.

I kept nagging myself to send a card to the W’s.  For Christmas, I said.  Then Christmas flew by and I hadn’t sent it.  For Valentine’s, I said.  But then Valentine’s passed and I hadn’t sent it.  For Easter, I promised.  And I delivered.  I sent a card with a picture of me and DH a few weeks before Easter.  During Holy Week, I received a card with the W’s address as the return address.

HW’s wife, J, said that she was so grateful for the card and that HW would have loved the picture.  She wished he could have seen it before he passed away.

I’m kicking myself for not sending the stupid card sooner. I’m also left with a bunch of questions that will never be answered, and a sincere wish that I could have told HW that the past is the past and we should focus on the future.  Maybe someday I will be able to tell him that.

In the meantime, whenever this song comes on the radio, I’ll think of him and say a little prayer.

Prayer of the Month: St. Michael the Archangel

St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

Defend us in battle.  That’s an odd line for a prayer, don’t you think?   Sure, soldiers, Marines, and police officers could say they do battle.  But regular schmoes like you and me?  We get up, we go to work, we get out of work and spend time with our families and then get up the next day and do it again.  We get a day off, and we get up, spend time on family, friends, and hobbies, and then rest up for another day at work.  We don’t do battle.

Or do we?

Sometimes it’s a battle to be kind to that annoying coworker.  Sometimes we want to shout at her that if she worked as much as she complained, she’d be Employee of the Month.  Sometimes we just pat ourselves on the back and think we’re superior to her… before something else reminds us that we, too, have our faults.

Sometimes, it’s just a battle against sloth in general.  We know we need to do the laundry, clean the house, or pay some bills, but instead we’re messing around outside, watching TV or [cough] blogging.  We forget that laundry, housecleaning, and bills are small but necessary parts of our vocation.  Staying on top of these little things can make the big picture clearer.

Sometimes it’s a battle to get to Mass.  Maybe we’d rather not get up early.  Maybe we’re trying to avoid the family Mass, the smug church ladies, or a priest whose homilies are interesting but long-winded.  Maybe we’d rather just be outside.  Or maybe we try to tell ourselves, “Hey, you went on Sunday. Daily Mass isn’t that big a deal, and you’re a busy lady.” We forget that we’re blessed to be able to go to Mass at all, let alone daily Mass. We forget all the graces we receive from frequent Communion.

Sometimes – actually, all the time for me – it’s a battle to get to Confession.  How many times have we said to ourselves, “Oh, the sins I committed weren’t that bad!  I can wait another week!”  Or, “You only really need to go during Lent!  I can wait!”  We forget that we are never closer to God than when we step out of the confessional.

Those last two are perhaps the most epic battles and the ones where we need the most defense.  If somebody (whether an evil spirit or a person) is trying to prevent me from getting closer to God, they would do everything in their power to keep me away from the Church.  And that person may not be merely content with keeping me away from the Church.  If I snap at my coworkers over every little thing and keep an unsanitary house, I’m not presenting a good image of Catholic women, and people might be turned off from the Church due to my behavior.  It isn’t just a battle for our own souls; it’s a battle for our loved ones’ souls too.  What could be more epic?

“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” – Matthew 18:6

Prayer of the Month: Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me
Body of Christ, save me
Blood of Christ, inebriate me
Water from the side of Christ, wash me
Passion of Christ, strengthen me
O good Jesus, hear me
Within Thy wounds hide me
Suffer me not to be separated from Thee
From the malicious enemy defend me
In the hour of my death call me
And bid me come unto Thee
That I may praise Thee with Thy saints
and with Thy angels
Forever and ever
Amen

I’m starting a new blog series where I post a prayer and reflect on it.  Kicking us off is the Anima Christi, a prayer that dates to the 14th century.  St. Ignatius of Loyola used this prayer in the preface of his Spiritual Exercises.  Many people think he wrote it, but the real author is most likely Pope John XXII.

1. Soul of Christ, sanctify me. The first Adam’s sin caused the fall of mankind and Original Sin, the uncleanliness of all human souls.  Christ, the second Adam, came to wash away that sin and redeem our broken world.

2-3. Body of Christ, save me.  Blood of Christ, inebriate me.   The Eucharist is one of the best things about being Catholic; each time we share in Christ’s body gives us a little more of the divine.  It saves us not just from sin but from emptiness.

4. Water from the side of Christ, wash me.  After Jesus died, a soldier pierced His side and blood and water flowed out (John 19:34). Jesus is also living water that washes away our sins.

5. Passion of Christ, strengthen me.  Christ’s Passion is a model for our suffering, a reminder that just as he suffered, so shall we. But our sufferings too shall pass, and when they do, glorious things await.

6. O good Jesus, hear me.  A simple, but elegant plea.  I am but one of millions asking for His assistance, and yet, He hears.

7. Within Thy wounds hide me.  A gory but apt image.  By his stripes, we are healed, by his wounds we are saved from our sins.

8. Suffer me not to be separated from Thee.  Forget fire and brimstone, that’s what Hell really is: being separated from God, the source of all love.  Some may think that this line refers to a fear of going to Hell; rather it’s a fear of being separated from God.  After all, if I truly love God with all my heart, all my soul, and all my strength, what could be worse than being separated from Him for all eternity?

9. From the malicious enemy defend me.  Enemies, large and small, will attempt to derail our efforts at leading a holy life.  Some do this out of a sincere hatred for our beliefs, some out of a misguided concern for our welfare.  (“Why are you wasting so much time on that claptrap? You don’t actually believe in it, do you??”)  Sometimes we need a little divine help to discern the correct defense.

10-11. In the hour of my death call me And bid me come unto Thee.  As with line 8, this is not about fear, it’s about love.  If we love Jesus, nothing could be better than being united with him in Heaven for eternity.

12-14. That I may praise Thee with Thy saints and with Thy angels Forever and ever.  The Catholic Church isn’t just the Church here on Earth, it’s also the church in heaven – the angels and all the holy men and women who have gone before us.

Further Reading:

1.  Anima Christi at the Catholic Encyclopedia (historical info)

2. A more in-depth discussion at Our Catholic Prayers