Simcha Fisher’s post on C&E Catholics reminded me of my reversion story and the fact that I’ve never posted it here. Since it happened at Easter, I suppose now would be a good time to do so. (Warning: this just might be the lamest reversion story ever.)
Five years ago, I was in graduate school and our spring break fell on Holy Week. At the time I hadn’t been to church in about four years (and I had been married for about four years). Scandals, disagreement with the Church on contraception, and just generally being a know-it-all were part of the reason I stopped attending Mass, but most of it was just no longer feeling the presence of God.
Anyway, my parents and sister decided to spend Holy Week with my grandparents that year, and since I figured I should spend time with my grandparents while I still could, I went along. We didn’t go to the Holy Thursday or Good Friday liturgies (I forget why), but we did go to Mass on Easter morning, and I knew there was no way I’d get out of it.
That Easter Mass changed my life.
I took Communion and felt God in a powerful way; even now it’s difficult to put it into words. The only thing I can compare it to is the first time DH held my hand and I thought, “This the start of something big.”
After I got home, I had my doubts. What if it was just a fluke? What if I’m just imagining things?
So the following Sunday, I went to Mass at the Newman Center at my university, which is very different from the church my grandparents attended. My grandparents went to a huge, ostentatious suburban church; the Newman center is small and austere.
And I felt the presence of God again. And again. And again, and again. Then I did what any real nerd would do: I read. I read books like What’s So Great About Christianity by Dinesh D’Souza, Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, and The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. I read blogs like Conversion Diary and Jimmy Akin and The American Papist.
DH, of course, didn’t come along for the ride. Maybe someday he will… but for now, I am content to pray, hope, and not worry.