7 Quick Takes Friday

1. Over the last few months, a coworker has been repeatedly asking me when DH and I are having kids.  All the other young married couples just had a baby, and he’s wondering when we, the last domino, will fall.  I’ve been brushing him off, but here’s what I’d really like to say to him:

“You know, [name] we’ve been spending so much time discussing the biggest disappointment of my life.  It’s really not fair for me to keep hogging the spotlight!  For a change, how about I ask you a nosy question about the biggest disappointment in your life?”

2. No, I’m not actually going to say that.  I’m not sure what the boss would do if I went off on a coworker like that, but it probably wouldn’t be pretty.

3.  Anyway, on to some good news: ripe tomatoes are just around the corner!  My plants have had fruit for what seems like months (it’s probably more like one month) and now, finally, some of it is starting to turn red.  There has to be something good about these long hot summers…

4. And you would think I’d be used to long, hot summers by now, having lived with them for…. oh yeah, my entire life.  You’d be wrong.  Every day I’m off work in the summer, I tell myself that I’ll be spending a lot of time outside, work in the garden, go swimming, finally get a tan… and I always retreat to the air conditioning by noon.  I am a wuss.

5. I may have gone overboard in planting Swiss Chard.  And by that, I mean we have all of 4 plants.  (Hey, there are only two of us!)  Turns out, DH doesn’t care for the stems.  Ooops.  Maybe I should plant more spinach next year.

6. I learned something new about growing tomatoes this week: the definition of catfacing.  Several of my Cherokee Purple tomatoes have big scars at the blossom end, but so far as I could tell, it wasn’t insect damage.  At first I thought it was something peculiar to the Cherokee Purple variety (never grown it before, and none of my other tomatoes have this) but after some consultation with Master Gardener Google, I figured out it was catfacing.  Is there anything Google doesn’t know?

7. It wouldn’t be Friday without a song!  This Friday’s song is “Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5.  I liked this video so much I had to embed it.  :)

For more Quick Takes, go here!

Door-to-Door Preachers

What do you guys do when door-to-door preachers come by?  Normally, I just don’t answer the door unless it’s the UPS guy or someone I’m expecting but today I was expecting a repair guy and got faked out by Jehovah Witnesses.  I considered telling them that I’m Catholic and have the fullness of Truth handed down from Jesus Christ, but I didn’t want to sound smug – or worse, as if I was spoiling for a fight.  (I’m never spoiling for a fight, and I’m certainly not trying to upset anyone who might be reading this!)  Instead, I just said, “God loves you and I’ll pray for you.”

Thoughts?

7 Quick Takes Friday

1.  I don’t think I’ve mentioned on the blog that my DH isn’t Catholic.  How a nice Catholic girl wound up married to a guy with similar views to Christopher Hitchens is too long a story for this post.  [I hasten to add that DH, to his everlasting credit, is not nearly as strident as Hitchens (God rest his soul).]   Suffice it to say that I drifted away from the Church when I was younger, met and married DH, and then came back to the Church.

2.  Why do I bring this up now?  Because DH and I were discussing Lent the other day, and the discussion doesn’t make much sense if you haven’t heard #1.  You see, despite not being Catholic and repeatedly referring to religion as “claptrap,” DH always gives up something for Lent and abstains from meat on Lenten Fridays.  This boggles my mind.  I’ve repeatedly told him that while it’s very nice of him to do so, since he’s not Catholic it’s OK if he doesn’t give anything up for Lent and eats meat on Fridays.  And he responds that it’s a “personal challenge” and he’s “just trying to see if he can do it.”

3.  And what do I say to that?  Well, what can you say to that?  Sometimes it’s best to just say, “OK, dear,” and move on.  :)

4.  Since some of you may be wondering, yes, I did invite him to come get ashes on Ash Wednesday.  He was less than enthusiastic.  (No, you don’t have to be Catholic to get ashes on Ash Wednesday.)  I sense some novenas in my future.

5.  Novenas… why on Earth didn’t I think of that earlier?  Beats me.  I pray for DH all the time – I’d be a pretty bad wife if I didn’t, even he were Catholic – but doing a novena never occurred to me till writing this post.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

6.  On a lighter note, someone once asked me, “He’s an atheist?  How can you be sure he won’t just run off with his secretary?”  I responded that I was sure he would never do that because: 1.  He doesn’t have a secretary.  2.  He enjoys being alive.  DH may not believe in God, but he certainly believes in the fury of a scorned woman.  :)  (And yes, even the sanctity of marriage!)

7.  Anyway, let’s end with a song.  This Friday’s song is “The Weekend Starts Here” by Fatboy Slim.

For more Quick Takes, go here!

My Responses to “Why Don’t You Have Kids?”

It seems like people are always asking me why I don’t have kids or when I’m having kids. Parents who may be reading this, take note: Every adult who does not have children, whether by choice or not, is sick of answering these questions.  Really sick of it.  Beyond sick of it.  If being sick of these questions were an actual sickness, half the childless adults in America would be in intensive care.  Parents, as much as you hate being asked if these kids are all yours, we hate “why don’t you have kids” more.  So parents, I’ll make you a deal:  I won’t make rude comments about the size of your family if you don’t ask rude questions about the size of mine.

I can’t stress this enough: stop asking these questions.  You may think you’re being funny or cute, but you are hurting people more than you can possibly imagine.

Anyway, on to the responses.  As tempted as some of you may be to burst into tears (I know I am sometimes), remember that’s only going to ruin your makeup, and the dolt responsible will probably have no idea what you’re so upset about.  Instead, try one of these:

1. “We’re waiting for a good sale.”  What, you mean that’s not what they sell at Babies R Us?

2. “It’s illegal to raise goats in the city limits.” Useful for both the when and why questions.  Or you could be like Donna at What if God Says No and raise some actual goats.  :)

3. “The cats wouldn’t tolerate any creature who’s cuter than they are.” Enough said.

4. “Well, we prayed for children for years… then one day it hit us: that’s not where they come from!”  It helps if you say that last part with a really bewildered expression on your face.

5. “Because God said so.”

6.  Let’s not forget the other question we all hate: “But don’t you want kids?”  I usually respond to this one with something that would be awesome but is probably never going to happen, such as “Don’t you want to win the lottery?”  Whatever you do, resist the urge to ask that person if they want a new brain or some manners.

7. If you have the ability to do so, consider sponsoring a child in a developing country.  (I highly recommend the Christian Foundation for Children and Aging.) They’ll send you a picture of your sponsored kid, which you can keep on your desk at work or wherever the annoying askers are and you can hold it up and say, “This is my child.”  My sponsored kids are all different ethnicities than I am, and when I use this tactic the expressions on people’s faces are priceless.  :)

If you’ve tried all of the above and they still won’t leave you alone, just tell them the truth.

8. “I don’t have kids, I’m never going to have kids and it’s none of your business.  The subject is closed.”  Then walk away, and feel free to cry, scream, or punch a hole in the wall when you get home.

If you have another good zinger, feel free to add it in the comments!