7 Quick Takes Friday – Soak Up the Sun

1. No updates on Larisa yet!  Please keep praying for her.

2. Soaking up the sun is what I’ve been doing a lot of lately!  After last week’s snow (first time I can ever recall snow in May), we’ve had gorgeous weather where I live and I’ve been enjoying the heck out of it.  (And as a result, not blogging.  Sorry, folks!)  Luckily, I saved my tomatoes from the snow.  The night before it snowed, DH and I went to the hardware store and picked up a few glass quart jars and used them to cover the tomatoes.  It looked goofy, but it worked like a charm!

3. I got nothin’ else, so let’s talk orphans for awhile.  First up is Shaina, an adorable little girl who needs to be adopted by JUNE 2013 or she will age out!

Shaina already has over $5000 raised for her adoption – wow!  Won’t somebody please take her home?

4. This one is a three-fer: Trudy, Tristan, and Tatiana!  These three are siblings who live in the same region but in different orphanages.  All three have HIV.  Tatiana has FAS, and Tristan has unspecified mental delays.  Reece’s Rainbow is hoping to find a way for them to be adopted together.  Do you know their family?  Maybe you do and you don’t know it!

Trudy, age 15

 

Tristan, age 10

 

Tatiana, age 7

 

5.  Next up is Cate!  Cate is ten years old and has the following heart issues:  discordant atrioventricular junction, corrigent transposition of magistral vessels, coronary-left ventricle fistula, complete atrioventricular heart block.  If she had the proper medical care, she could probably thrive.  She may also have FAS – the records aren’t clear.

6.  Finally, we have Matthew John, who needs a family by September 2013!  He has an absence of skull and congenital dyskinesia of his limbs.  However, he’s described as an extroverted boy who gets along with the other kids in his institution and likes to play football.  (I’m guessing they mean soccer.)  And he has zero dollars in his account – what a travesty!

 

7. It’s Friday, so it’s time for a song!  As you might have guessed, this week’s song is “Soak Up the Sun” by Sheryl Crow.

For more Quick Takes from Jen and others, visit Conversion Diary!

St. Frances Xavier Cabrini, pray for orphans!

7 Quick Takes Friday – Spring At Last!

1. Spring has finally sprung, but first an update on Larisa!  Kate commented on my Larisa page that she and her husband had tried to claim Larisa, but the paper trail on her had been lost!  Please storm heaven for her!

2. As the title of this posts suggests, danger of frost has FINALLY passed where I live!  I spent my day off this week getting my tomatoes, peppers, and herbs planted.  Salsa will be a little late this year, but better late than never, right?

3.  Aside from eating whatever I grew, my favorite part of gardening season is going to the garden center and buying new plants.  I love looking at all the little tags and learning about new varieties.  I also love finding the stuff I intended to plant – when I see Jet Star tomatoes or Blushing Beauty peppers, it’s like running into an old friend.

4.  I’m not quite organized enough to have a garden plan.  Scratch that.  I am organized enough to have a garden plan… but I always throw it out once I get to the garden center.  ”Plans?  Where we’re going we don’t need plans!”

5.  I’ve been very active in a statewide professional organization for the last few years.  A few months ago, I became a committee chair for the organization.  I haven’t talked about this on the blog because, well, this blog isn’t about my professional life.  I haven’t talked about it at work either, partly because it never seemed like the right time, and partly because I didn’t think anybody actually cared.  I was proven wrong on that score at staff meeting, when Boss Man gave me a shout-out at staff meeting.

6.  I guess the moral of take #5 is: quietly doing the right thing is more persuasive than you realize.

7. It’s Friday, so it’s time for a song!  This Friday’s song is “Pon de Replay” by Rihanna.

For more Quick Takes from Jen and others, visit Conversion Diary!

St. Frances Xavier Cabrini, pray for Larisa!

Chreasters…

Simcha Fisher’s post on C&E Catholics reminded me of my reversion story and the fact that I’ve never posted it here.  Since it happened at Easter, I suppose now would be a good time to do so.  (Warning: this just might be the lamest reversion story ever.)

Five years ago, I was in graduate school and our spring break fell on Holy Week.  At the time I hadn’t been to church in about four years (and I had been married for about four years).  Scandals, disagreement with the Church on contraception, and just generally being a know-it-all were part of the reason I stopped attending Mass, but most of it was just no longer feeling the presence of God.

Anyway, my parents and sister decided to spend Holy Week with my grandparents that year, and since I figured I should spend time with my grandparents while I still could, I went along.  We didn’t go to the Holy Thursday or Good Friday liturgies (I forget why), but we did go to Mass on Easter morning, and I knew there was no way I’d get out of it.

That Easter Mass changed my life.

I took Communion and felt God in a powerful way; even now it’s difficult to put it into words.  The only thing I can compare it to is the first time DH held my hand and I thought, “This the start of something big.”

After I got home, I had my doubts.  What if it was just a fluke?  What if I’m just imagining things?

So the following Sunday, I went to Mass at the Newman Center at my university, which is very different from the church my grandparents attended.  My grandparents went to a huge, ostentatious suburban church; the Newman center is small and austere.

And I felt the presence of God again.  And again.  And again, and again.  Then I did what any real nerd would do:  I read.  I read books like What’s So Great About Christianity by Dinesh D’Souza, Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, and The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis.  I read blogs like Conversion Diary and Jimmy Akin and The American Papist.

DH, of course, didn’t come along for the ride.  Maybe someday he will… but for now, I am content to pray, hope, and not worry.

Still Alive, I Promise

So, this is me realizing I haven’t posted anything in a month.  Whoops.  First it was some wackiness with my work schedule.  Then in the 2nd half of January, I found myself tired.  Really tired.  Bone-crushingly tired.  So tired I wanted to go to bed immediately after work.  I figured it was the weather, the dry air, the short days, it would get better….

It didn’t.

I finally dragged myself to the doctor yesterday, and it turns out I have a sinus infection.  She prescribed some antibiotics and told me to return in two weeks if I don’t feel better.  So, let’s hope this is the light at the end of the tunnel and not an oncoming train.

Today There is Hope

Today, a new year starts.  2012 was a boring year for me; there’s really no other way to put it.  (And ironically, 2012 was the year I chose to start blogging.)

In 2012, I didn’t change the size of my family. (No surprise there.)

In 2012, my husband didn’t convert. (Again, no surprise.)

In 2012, I stayed at the same job and house I’ve been in for years.

In 2012, I had no reason to doubt that my life would stay the course it’s been on since I finished graduate school.

But today, it snowed.  Today, everything looks a little brighter.  Today, I think I can see something else taking shape up ahead.  I get the feeling that my year-end post for 2013 won’t be quite so dull.

Today, there is hope.

I Just Lost Weight!

Not off my rear end or my stomach; still wearing the same size jeans as before.  And I’m not talking about my DH, either; still got him and wouldn’t have it any other way.

During my senior year of high school, I had an unfortunate run-in at a choir concert with a mean girl.  I don’t need to rehash it here for you; suffice it to say it was the cherry on top of the poo sundae that was my relationship with that person and her friends.  It affected me so much that I didn’t sing in front of anyone for years afterwards.  (I didn’t attend church much at all in my 20s, but that’s another story.)

That began to change on New Year’s several years ago.  The previous spring, my friend Jacob died (I wrote about him here, at Leanne’s blog) and that was the first holiday we celebrated with his widow.  On the way back home, something unusual happened.  Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe I was inspired by my memories of Jacob, but for whatever reason, I started singing softly along with the radio… while DH was driving.  I’d known him for six years and that was the first time he’d ever heard me sing.

In the intervening years, I still rarely sung anywhere besides in my car or house alone.  DH, bless him, was always complimentary and encouraging any time he heard me sing, and it’s because of him that ten years after the Mean Girls incident, I actually sang at a Rock Band party in front of a few of our friends

But join a choir again?   No way, I thought.

That is, until Labor Day Weekend of this year, when I went to Mass at an unfamiliar parish and received an unsolicited invitation to join their choir.

So, I joined the choir at my own parish, and when our choir director asked if I’d participate in the Christmas concert, I said I would, figuring that work would somehow interfere with my performing.

But it didn’t.  Evidently, God really wanted me there.

The night of the concert, I was an absolute wreck.  I walked down the aisle shaking like a leaf and was trembling for most of the first half of the concert.  (And I didn’t even have a solo!)

The following day (after I’d gotten a decent night’s sleep for the first time in a week, I realized what I had accomplished and I felt like a new woman. The demons of the past are finally, blessedly gone.

Happy Advent.

Quick Update

I had planned to participate in Quick Takes this week, but then I remembered that  I’ll be out of town for Thanksgiving.  Oops.  I am a blonde in spirit if not in fact.

Things are still pretty much status quo here at Castle Henry & Cunegonda.  They’ve been status quo for some time, and you know what?  That’s boring.  And God thumped me on the head with a 2×4* this week and gave me a sign that it’s time I did something about it, at least career-wise.

I’m not changing professions – He’s made it clear that I’m called to do what I’m doing – but I think I should change jobs in 2013.  Whether that’s a new position at my current company or a bigger change remains to be seen.  Anyway, I’m going to spend Advent doing some discerning.

Anyway, it’s not Friday yet, but we still need a song!  This week’s song is “Thank U” by Alanis Morissette.  (This is a fan-made lyric video, not the original where she’s walking around nekkid.  This is a family blog. )

*God knows that that the only way to get my attention is to hit me on the head with a 2×4.

 

Ugly Duckling

Back in the day, I was an ugly duckling.  A nerd.  A freak.  A weirdo.  Left out.

Those days are far behind me. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I could introduce the people who know me now to the people who knew me when I was a teenager.  Each set, upon hearing the other’s description of me, would say, “Are we talking about the same person?”

Yes.  You definitely are.

Because however much I’ve changed, I need to remember that awkward loner girl.

If I hadn’t been her, I wouldn’t be me.

Update

Thank you for all your kind words on this post.  It means a lot.

DH was out of town when I posted that, and we had a discussion about it when he returned Monday night.  New house rule: no drinking on work nights, for either of us.

I have not been completely abstinent since Saturday, but I have made progress. From Saturday 7/18-Wednesday 7/22, I had 15 drinks (3 large glasses of wine a night).  From Saturday 7/25-Wednesday 8/1, I had… three.

And the next three nights are work nights.  Wish me luck.

A Letter to an Old Friend

Dear Alcohol,

I first met you when I was 18.  I was starting college in a new place, a socially awkward nerd who had been lonely for a long time and needed a little lubrication to get her going.  You shoved aside my insecurities, you helped me find my voice.  Oh yeah, and you tasted good.  Alcohol made me do a few stupid things, but that’s what being young is for, right?

During my sophomore year, we started spending more time together.  A lot of nights it was just you and me (I always had an older friend come pick you up).  I didn’t have many other people in my life, and I didn’t mind all that much.  I was used to being alone, but I felt less alone with you.  We spend too much time together, but my grades are good and I’m happy, so who cares?

Halfway through college, I met DH.  We were hopelessly in love from the very start, and being nauseating sweethearts we spent every possible second together. I cut back on my time with you then, but I’d still binge once in awhile.  No big deal.  It’s college.

Shortly after graduating, I got extremely drunk at an office party and had to be hauled out puking.  My face still turns red when I think about that. My supervisor was extremely benevolent and didn’t reprimand me.

As my twenties dragged on, I started spending more and more time with you.  It wasn’t just that you masked my loneliness and you blunted the pain of my estrangement from my sister.   God help me, I still love the way you taste. I drank because I  just wanted to drink.

We got a little out of hand when I was in grad school.  For a few months, I had to live in a different city from DH to fulfill some requirements.  If I didn’t have any projects, I would get home at 4 PM, get a soda out of the refrigerator, head to my bedroom to change clothes and secretly replace some of the soda with vodka.  Other times, I’d plan to have one or two drinks after I finished my schoolwork, and then somehow be completely blotto by 10 PM. But hey, I’m just relaxing at home, I get the job done, and I never drive drunk.  It’s all good.

After I graduated, I was in a demanding job and cut back on my time with you.   Then I lost my job and I was back to drinking every night again.   Somewhere during my unemployment, I developed the habit of making a list of  all the things I needed to do before I hung out with you, and once I got them done, even if it was still early and DH wasn’t home yet, I’d drink.

Since then, DH and I have made some effort to cut back, but we  - or at least I – always seem to backslide.  I knew damn well the consequences of alcoholism; I’ve seen enough people suffering its effects.  But I didn’t really care.  I don’t drink that much, and hell, everybody has to die of something anyway.  That wasn’t a good enough reason to quit you, Alcohol.

This, however is:  I made a mistake at work yesterday.  I made the mistake because I was tired and I had a headache, and I was tired and I had a headache because I’d had too much wine the night before.  The mistake could’ve hurt somebody.  Luckily, it didn’t.  I probably won’t be so lucky next time, and that’s why there cannot be a next time.

I know what you’re thinking, Alcohol.  You have doubts about my ability to quit you.  Frankly, I do too.  I’m Irish Catholic, and you know what we’re like.  I can’t guarantee that I’ll quit you permanently.  But I did do something today that I didn’t think I’d ever do: I poured out a bottle of red wine.

Alcohol, you and I need a break.  Possibly a long break.  Maybe even a permanent break.  I always wondered what I’d do if I didn’t drink.  It’s time to find out.

Sincerely,

Mary